Contract of Love
For The Older Child

A Parent/Child Contract Worth Doing

by Karen Ekstrom

Children are precious.
It’s up to us, the adults, to keep them safe.
Consider entering into one of these contracts with your child.
They are published here – For your individual use.
To help you keep your family safe.

Contract Of Love

(For an Older Child)

The world, in all its glory, is made up of light and dark, good and bad. This is true of all things. It is true of people. Everyone in the world is a combination of good and bad qualities. We are a great mix and this mixture determines who we are.

It is human nature to suppress or hide behavior that others might find offensive, just like it is human nature to show off one’s good qualities. We can not know what is hidden in the hearts and minds of those around us. We can only hope that what hides there will not cause us pain.

Because I love you and want to protect you from harm, I need to tell you these facts.

* I do not know what is in the minds of others.

* I cannot be with you 24 hours a day, every day of your life.

* I will never know all that happens in your life.

* Therefore, I must trust you to tell me if someone harms you.

Out of love, I ask you to enter into this contract with me.

I, ______(The Child)_______, give my solemn promise to remember that you love me, no matter what. I promise to remember, even when I am angry, that you want what is best for me. I promise to take care of myself, especially in your absence. I know my health and happiness are vastly important to you.

Because I know these things to be true, I promise to tell you if any person, no matter who that person is . . .

1) Hits me, kicks me, burns me or hurts my body in any way.

2) Touches me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.

3) Asks or tells me to touch their body in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

4) Shows me their private body parts.

5) Threatens me with embarrassment or violence.

6) Gives me secret presents.

7) Asks me to lie.

8) Wants me to do something I am not allowed to do.

9) Tells me to keep something a secret that is bad or makes me uncomfortable.

In return . . .

I, ______(The Adult)_______, give you my solemn promise that, no matter what happens, I will always love you. I promise that, even when I am angry, I want what is best for you. I promise to value your health and happiness above all. And know I will always try to protect you.

I know, in life, bad things will happen to you and they will cause you pain. That is part of life. But know there is nothing that can happen to you that will ever change my love for you.

Because I know these things to be true, I promise you if you tell me that someone, no matter who that person is, did any of the things listed above I will . . .

1) Listen.

2) Believe you.

3) Love you.

4) Support you.

5) Not blame you.

6) Not be angry with you.

7) Protect you from further abuse.

8) Take appropriate action.

Together, on this ________________ of the year ______,

We, _____________________ and ____________________, agree to trust each other through whatever happens in life. We promise to fulfill the vows we have made to each other on this day.

Should the day come when one of us should break our vow, then it becomes the duty of the other to remember the great love we hold and . . .

I, ___(The Child)______ promise to tell as many other people as needed, until an adult takes action and protects me. This includes calling the police. It is important for me to do what is needed to do to stop the abuse.

This is my pledge to you.

I, _____(The Adult)______ promise to take your words to an impartial person in authority and ask for their help and advice. Then, I promise to follow their advice.

This is my pledge to you.

This is our Contact of Love.

Copyright 2008. All Rights Reserved.

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