Texas Jokes

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through…

I got pulled over once for driving in the carpool lane. The policeman said, “You have to have more than one person in the car to drive in the car…

These three Texans die together in a tragic accident and they all go to hell. When they get there, the Devil greets them and tells them, “We only have one…

A Texan enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most…

A New York Banker decided he wanted to be a Texas Rancher. So he bought a ranch. About a year later, he decided to go see it. So, wanting to…

The only cow in a small town in South Texas stopped giving milk. So the town folk found they could buy a cow in Oklahoma quite cheaply. So, they brought…

The Oklahoma Football Team went on a fishing trip on the Oklahoma side of the Red River. One lone Longhorn player steps out of the bushes on the Texas bank…

How To Install A Texas Home Security System Go to Goodwill and buy the largest pair of work boots you can find. Place them on your front porch, along with…

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out…

A Marriage Joke! Three Texans were talking in a bar. Two of them were complaining loud and long about the amount or, more pointedly, the lack of control they had…