Hours after the end of the world, a border dispute emerged between Heaven and Hell. God invited the Devil for a conversation in the hopes of finding a way to resolve this dispute quickly.
Satan, the devil, proposed a football game between Heaven and Hell.
God, always fair, warned the Devil, “The heat must be affecting your brain, the game would be so one sided, don’t you know all the ‘good’ players go to heaven?”
The Devil, smiled back. “Yes, but we’ve got all the refs’…”
Yes, it’s one great football joke!
Two old men were holding up the security/entrance line to the football stadium, while one of them hunted for his ticket. He searched in his coat pockets and shirt pockets. He even emptied his jean pockets, all to no avail…
“Hang on a minute…,” said the gateman, “…what’s that in your mouth?”
“It’s the missing ticket!”
As they moved inside his mate said…
“Geez Henry! You must be getting senile in your old age. How can you have your ticket in your mouth and forgetting about it!”
“’I’m not that stupid…,” said old Henry, “…I was chewing last week’s date off it.”