Okay… This is not for anyone under 18… But if you are old enough, it’s hilarious!
A Texas Rancher caught his boy masterbating behind the barn. He said, “Son, I think it is time for you to ‘have’ a woman.”
The boy blinked. “What do you mean, Pa?”
The Rancher said, “You know, like a stallion ‘has’ a mare, like a bull ‘has’ a heifer.”
“Oh, that.”, the boy said, “But I don’t know how to go about it.”
“Well, there’s a woman in town that will show you all about it for $5.”
The boy said, “Really? How do I find one?”
“OK, I’ll give you $5, you ride the mule to town, look for a red light, go to the door and tell the lady you need a woman and show your $5 bill.”
So the boy headed to town, but what the Rancher didn’t know was they had installed a traffic light in town. When the boy saw the red traffic light he thought he was in the right place.
He walked up to the door of a beauty parlor, said he needed a woman and showed his $5 bill. Well, business was a little slow and the gal decided she could use the money and invited him in.
Of course the boy didn’t last but about three-seconds. The gal felt bad about taking his $5 for three-seconds worth of pussy so she gave him a manicure to boot.
A few weeks later the boy was back in town on an errand and the gal saw him.
She hollered out, “Yoo Hoo,” and waved.
He took off in the other direction.
She later ran into him at the feed store and asked, “Why did you run a while ago? Don’t you remember me?”
“Hell yes I remember you. You’re the ol’ gal that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn’t scratch them!”
Yes, It’s a Classic Manicure Joke!