Time For The Classics…

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The Fiancé

After Kathy brought home her fiancé, Eric, to meet her parents. Her father invited the young man into his study to find out more about him.

“What are your plans?” he asked.

“I’m studying the Bible,” Eric replied.

“Well, that’s admirable,” Kathy’s father replied. “But what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?”

“I will study, and God will surely provide for us,” Eric explained.

“And how will you buy her a nice engagement ring?”

“I will study hard, and God will provide for us.”

“And children?” asked the father. “How will you support children?”

“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” Eric replied.

The conversation continued in much the same fashion. After Kathy and Eric had left, her mother asked her father what he found out.

The father answered, “Well, Eric has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I’m God.”

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Mother Knows Best

Richard invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how Richard and his roommate, Jane, looked at each other. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this only made her more curious. By the end of the evening she was convinced there was more between them than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Richard volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jane and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Jane went to Richard saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

Richard said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Mother, I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the gravy ladle from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Richard.”

The next day, Richard received a response from his mother that read:

“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Jane, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Jane. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom.”

Classic Jokes… The Authors Are Unknown