Classic Texas Jokes

A New York Banker decided he wanted to be a Texas Rancher. So he bought a ranch. About a year later, he decided to go see it. So, wanting to …

Two Texas Women Met In Heaven   “Hi! My name is Wanda.” “Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?” “I froze to death.” “How horrible!” “It wasn’t so bad. After I …

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and …

(For my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.) His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. “May I ask …

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible …

There once was a lovely lady who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. One Sunday an out-of-town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He …

A Texas woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would …

One day out on a Texas golf course, a golfer accidentally overturned his golf cart. A very attractive woman, who lived in a house on the golf course, heard the …

A woman from Texas was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to …

A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Dallas, Texas. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. “Mom,” said the boy, “what …